Soul Groups and Soul Contracts

Your Relationships, Your Narrative, Your Path to Personal Development

Last week in my post on the pandemic of hurt and violence, I mentioned that Charlie Kirk and Tyler Robinson had a Soul Contract. While many of you understand the nature of Soul Contracts, others are struggling to comprehend this concept. So let's take a dive into what the concept of Soul Contracts actually means. Granted, there is way too much on this topic to cover in a blog post, so if you have questions, write them down. Save them for a future conversation or send them to my email betsey@betseygrady.com for my YouTube show. 

Firstly, relationships are paramount. They serve as our primary teachers in understanding our true selves. I often joke that if you want to engage in personal growth, soul-searching, or simply assess your emotional and mental state, then enter a relationship. Undoubtedly, any unresolved issues within you will surface quickly. Relationships also provide the greatest opportunity to express our true selves, showcase our personal growth, and guide us toward our future paths. Some relationships are wonderful, loving, generous, and nurturing, while others can be challenging, frustrating, and difficult. Some may even be traumatic and deeply painful, or a mix of all these aspects. Every relationship has a purpose. Every relationship is a gift. I hope this explanation of Soul Groups and Soul Contracts offers you a new perspective on the people in your life, perhaps bringing peace where needed and ultimately gratitude for each encounter, whether brief or long-lasting.

Before you take on this physical form and start your earthly journey, you exist in a realm known as life between life. In this realm, you are creators, crafting the blueprint and outline of what you wish to experience in this lifetime. You choose your parents, siblings, birthplace, hair color, eye color, skin color—everything! You plan your entrance and departure from this life. This is because each lifetime's experiences contribute to your evolution. As you evolve, you gain wisdom, kindness, and enlightenment, developing greater compassion and empathy. You also understand that taking on a challenging role to provide someone else with a specific experience is something only a highly evolved soul would undertake. Imagine this life as a movie you wrote, with yourself as the main character. You write in other characters with specific roles—your first love, first crush, first boss, best friends, teachers, coaches, partners, and even your enemies, especially your enemies! Those who push your buttons, confront you, traumatize you, abuse you, or hurt you in any way are the ones you remember. They agreed to play a role that enabled your evolution. You are transformed by these experiences, or at least should be. They played a crucial role in your story here. Your choice is how you want to engage with this experience and how you choose to move forward. You can remain feeling victimized, powerless, forever harmed, and stuck in survival mode. OR, you can choose to take responsibility for your current situation, use what you now know to be true for you, and step into a creative role. Trauma can weaken or strengthen you. It's up to you to decide which path to take. That's evolution.

When I was about 8 years old we lived in a fabulous house directly across the street from a park that had a creek running through it and trees all around. I loved playing in every square inch of that park and creek. I especially loved the giant swing set across from our driveway. One day a tough girl in the neighborhood, coming from the other side of the tracks so to speak, was swinging  and she was going higher and higher. I was playing with my friend on something else when her friends were encouraging her to jump from the swing. That was a dare that several of the kids did- how high could you swing and can you jump from that height. About the same time she took the dare and jumped, my friend did something silly and I laughed. When the tough girl hit the dirt she broke her arm and in her mind she thought I was laughing at her. My dad came running and got her stabilized and called the ambulance and let her sit in the air conditioned car while everyone waited to see if she'd be okay. Of course, she was. Her arm was broken and her ego was badly bruised. Little did I know I became an innocent target. It didn't matter that my dad helped her. It mattered that she thought I laughed at her. About a week after the incident our house got egged. Then she started looking for me and telling others she was going to get me and beat me up. I had no idea why or what I had done to draw her ire, but I was scared. I had seen her beat someone up before on the playground. She was mean and not afraid to attack. And here I was this magical child with a delightful imaginary friend, talking with animals and plants and living my best life. We could not have been more opposite. She stalked me for years! Thankfully I went to the private Catholic school and we eventually moved out of the neighborhood, so I had less and less opportunities to run into her. However, by the time I went to high school, the private school grades ended and I had no choice but to go to the public one. And there she was and she lit up when she saw me. She was still mean, yelling and verbally abusing me, but I wasn't as scared anymore.

I'm sharing this story because it highlights a recurring theme in my life. It was a blatant example of being bullied, threatened, and stalked, which manifested in more subtle ways over the years. It wasn't until my 40s that I realized I consistently attracted bullies—mean, unkind, and hurtful people, all without provocation. I eventually understood that something within me was aligning with that energy. Although I didn't perceive myself as a bully, I was an ideal target because I lacked proper boundaries. Through these experiences, I learned to care for myself, stand up for myself, and establish clear boundaries. I believed I was already doing so! I was a successful, independent, confident woman with many accomplishments to be proud of. I had traveled the world, enjoyed wonderful jobs, and even started my own business. I was surprised to discover that deep down, I didn't know how to set boundaries, and every bully in my life was an opportunity to recognize and address that. Unfortunately, it took several experiences before I finally understood. Ha! But that's how it goes. That's why we attract the same partners and relationships, just in different forms. There's something we need to learn about ourselves. Once we recognize it and do the work, we reduce the need for more opportunities and we EVOLVE! So, I am grateful to Dana, the tough girl. She had a challenging early life that contributed to her tough persona. On a soul level, she agreed to play the bully for me when we were young. I remember being at a shopping center once when she saw me in the Hallmark store. She puffed up like a rooster and started yelling. I was so scared to leave. I had the store clerk call my mom to come get me. It was terrifying to live on edge like that for so many years. Yet ultimately, I didn't lose my joy and sense of wonder and play. I could have. I could have become the ultimate victim, afraid to venture out and seek new adventures. I could have sunk into low self-esteem and become completely introverted. But that wasn't my path. I had a wonderfully supportive family and fabulous friends, which allowed me to overcome and thrive. 

These experiences, like my encounters with bullies, are integral to our soul's growth and part of my life's narrative. I've realized that I needed to learn to establish strong boundaries and nurture healthy self-esteem to succeed in my current career. As my professional presence expands, having self-confidence, self-love, and self-worth becomes increasingly crucial. Imagine me on a larger stage, doing my work while fearing bullies and hurt individuals—I wouldn't last a day, let alone 30 minutes in the spotlight. It's already challenging to operate in the Bible Belt. Therefore, I'm thankful for these experiences and the growth they have brought. I can reflect on each experience and acknowledge how it has shaped who I am today. I encourage you to do the same. You are following a theme, and there's a pattern in your life aimed at helping you evolve and remove obstacles to your joy. My story may be mild compared to those who have faced real trauma and abuse, but it remains significant. Each of us is on a unique journey, experiencing a story we designed before arriving here. When we depart this world, we'll begin another story. Yes, you will return. This is the essence of it. You'll return with the same souls, choosing different roles in each other's stories. If you dislike the current story unfolding in your life, you have the power to evolve and choose from love and wisdom. If you're an adult experiencing pain in a relationship, that pain is old, originating from childhood and compounded over time. The person you're in conflict with now is just the latest to play a role, prompting you to address and release old hurts. This is why relationships are teachers. I hold no resentment towards Dana or any of the bullies I've faced. There's no emotional charge for me anymore. If someone still triggers you, there's something within you that needs healing, likely a flawed thought or belief. That's a topic for another blog post...

Start by taking a blank sheet of paper. In the middle, draw a small circle about the size of a quarter and write "ME" inside it. Around this circle, draw another ring with enough space to jot down some names. Continue adding more rings, creating a series of concentric circles. To simplify the concept of Soul Groups, we'll focus on just a few rings. The circle immediately surrounding "ME" represents your Immediate Soul Group, which includes your family by birth and any family you've formed, such as parents, siblings, spouses, children (both adopted and biological), grandparents, and grandchildren. The next ring is your Secondary or "Close" Group, where you would list your closest friends, possibly cousins, aunts/uncles, or a valued mentor or counselor—essentially anyone you cherish or consider part of your "family." Depending on your relationship, in-laws might fit here or in the Immediate Group. The subsequent rings are your Extended Soul Groups. These rings include people from your past whom you remember but don't have a strong current relationship with, such as teachers from various grades, childhood classmates, coaches, your first boss, first boyfriend or girlfriend, church leaders, and more. These individuals have influenced you in some way, and you remember them for specific reasons. The stronger the memory, the closer they should be placed in the extended circles.  The Extended Soul Group also encompasses people with whom you've had significant relationships, including romantic partners, peers, co-workers, bosses, employees, neighbors, and more. It's particularly important to include relationships marked by significant conflict or tension, whether resolved or unresolved. Place these individuals in the nearest extended Soul Group after your Secondary ring. My tough girl would be in this group.

You can engage with this diagram for extended periods, even days. As you contemplate your life and recall people, you can note them down where you believe they belong. Many will be on the outer edges, and you can utilize the white space on your sheet for this purpose. All these individuals are part of your Soul Group, meaning your soul recognizes them and they recognize yours on a deeper level, stemming from past incarnations. Essentially, you journey through lifetimes with the same souls, creating new scenarios and roles each time. If someone is in your Soul Group, you undoubtedly have a Soul Contract with them. Soul Contracts are exactly what they sound like—your soul forms an agreement with another soul. You agree to assume a specific role for another to experience what you wish to experience here. Soul Contracts can vary in size, duration, and intensity, ranging from brief to lifelong, heavy to light, and everything in between. Typically, the rings closest to "ME" represent larger contracts, compared to those further away, where a person might have been merely a milestone in your journey. Regardless, those closest to you, whether in your heart or mind, are individuals you have a profound love for or a sense that something greater underlies the relationship. This greater element is the Soul Contract.

You have a narrative crafted for this lifetime, and together with your Soul Group, you each consented to take on roles and entered into Soul Contracts. By comprehending your Soul Contract with someone else, you can cultivate compassion for yourself and them, leading to gratitude for every experience and relationship in our lives. The story below fully illustrates this concept:

I once met a young woman who was facing multiple challenges in her life, including coping with the recent loss of her father. She had experienced a series of unhealthy relationships with men who were either verbally and physically abusive, emotionally unavailable, or often both. She also dealt with numerous health issues, such as chronic bladder infections, fibromyalgia, and migraines. Additionally, she suffered from anxiety and depression. She believed that all her unhappiness, illnesses, and lack of success in life and relationships stemmed from growing up with an alcoholic father. Now, she was not only grieving his loss but also angry at him for leaving before she could express her pent-up anger and frustration. Her childhood was spent in isolation as her siblings were much older. Her mother lived in a state of depression, and her father was rarely home due to his tireless work. When he was home, he was drinking. Neither of her parents was available mentally, emotionally, or physically, so she essentially raised herself. She blamed her father for her mother’s depression, her own inability to relate to men in a healthy way, her lack of trust in them, and her own depression. She attributed her anger and subsequent health issues to him. She was "pissed"—literally, hence the chronic bladder infections. She wanted him to know how he had "messed up" everyone’s life by choosing alcohol over his family. She was angry that he didn’t have to face the consequences of his actions, as he had passed away. He was gone from this miserable life, leaving her to suffer without the chance to confront him. She was left dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic childhood and its impact on her psyche and body. Her only solace was her belief in karma, hoping he would suffer in the next lifetime and that she might witness it.

Without knowing more about her, her story, and her family, I opened up for her father to come through. In an instant, he was there, having been with us all along. He immediately showered her with love and gratitude. His energy was a warm, embracing light, and she began to cry. He shared how remarkable this lifetime had been for him and expressed profound gratitude for her allowing him to truly understand life as an alcoholic. He had experienced exactly what he desired. He explained that he came from the "healer’s realm" of souls, to which she reacted with skepticism. He said that in each lifetime, he worked in some healing capacity as that was his true essence. His soul’s desire was to understand everything about healing. He mentioned that in his previous lifetime, he was a doctor working with severe alcoholics in treatment facilities. She looked at me with surprise and said, “He was a doctor in this lifetime too.”

He explained that he chose this lifetime to be an alcoholic to gain firsthand knowledge and understanding of the disease's power. He wanted to feel the grip of alcohol, the relentless desire to be numb, and the emotional withdrawal. He sought to understand how someone could abandon their family, especially with a wonderful daughter eagerly waiting for him. He thanked her for playing the difficult role of his daughter, knowing she would be neglected, unseen, and unheard. Neither of us expected what he said next. He revealed that she too was from the "healer’s realm" and had been married to him in the previous lifetime, working with him at the facility. They lived and worked there, leading a hard, lonely, and isolated life, yet they were committed to helping their patients. They had one child, a daughter, who was her mother in this lifetime. They hoped the child would bring joy and focus to their lives. It’s much easier to grow a seed in healthy soil with proper light and water and love than to rescue a dying plant whose roots, stems, and leaves have withered. This didn’t work out, and eventually, she left the work to provide a healthier life for their daughter.

He explained that they were all working on gaining a deeper understanding of alcoholism from various perspectives. He said this lifetime allowed him to evolve into a stronger healer, and he was already anticipating his next life as her son. Her reactions grew stronger with each of his revelations, validating his words. It all resonated with her. She disclosed that she had been considering returning to school to pursue higher education. She felt a calling to work professionally with people struggling with childhood trauma and addictions. The relief she felt was almost immediate. The profound understanding she now held was immense. Realizing this was a noble lifetime for her father, herself, and her mother was exactly what she needed to release her anger. With this understanding of her life and choices, and her pursuit of experiences for her evolution, she was finally able to feel grateful and free. She left my office that afternoon with genuine admiration and respect for her father, and a focused intention for her own life as a healer.

After reading this, I hope it helps you understand that Charlie Kirk and Tyler Robinson indeed had a Soul Contract. It's a challenging one, unfolding on a grand stage and impacting all of us. It's significant! Their contract influences not just their immediate families and loved ones, but also the broader public. Their story underscores the divide and emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, compassion, and unity. We are yet to see how their story will unfold, as it is only beginning. However, trust that change is imminent. These two have initiated a major shift. Meanwhile, I encourage you to reflect on your own relationships and remain open to new perspectives. If you're interested in exploring further, consider working with someone who facilitates "Life Between Life" sessions, where we design our plans and draft our contracts. (I can provide the name of someone in Fairhope, AL if you're interested.) I highly recommend this approach if possible. We can also explore Soul Contracts during sessions in the Akashic Records, as mentioned in the story above. (These sessions should be 90 minutes or longer.)

Lastly, to make this easier, think about your relationships and identify the gifts they have brought you. Reflect on how you have evolved. Perhaps you learned something new or discovered an aspect of yourself you were unaware of. Maybe you found new ways to express yourself. Consider how you have changed because of these relationships. Recognizing the positive impact of relationships allows you to see the gifts and disarm any negative feelings. You can then hold gratitude and love in your heart, freeing yourself from negative thoughts or behaviors. This fosters more love and goodness for yourself and those around you, which then spreads to even more people. And who wouldn't want more of that?

Happy Solstice! Happy Fall!

It's holiday season and relationships will be paramount. Use this season wisely and lovingly. Heal your hurts. Disarm the charges. Let love rule!

Join me this week for my live YouTube- Wednesday, September 24, 1 to 2 pm EDT.

Peace, Joy, and Happiness to all of you who took the time to read and explore ~

Betsey